I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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