so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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