At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
