Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
