i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You are a genius and a whore.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
