WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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