bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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