Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
