i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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