So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
