an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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