I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
