Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
