So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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