new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
