I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
