Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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