and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
