Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
