I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
