We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
