dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
