my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
