OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
