Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
