New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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