Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
