What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
