Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
