Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
