if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
