THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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