that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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