you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
