if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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