Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
