You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
