I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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