just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Tornado booty call.. dedication
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
