Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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