So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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