check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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