You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
