he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
