Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
