drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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