ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
