Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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