his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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