Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
