I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Damn victory sex feels great
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
