take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
